Is there another way to rewrite this!?

Perhaps when you write think of what you are saying as if you are talking to a friend. Like two guys commiserating over women and you are telling your friend all the details. In other words, since males usually have a harder time with verbal communication, pretend you have the mind of a female and talk up a storm. Try doing it in a witty manner as a comic would punctuate with profound hard truths about the situation. For example, show in a witty manner the girl is yanking your chain out of a desire for attention.